Like two peas in a #poddy

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Never before in the history of a girl about to give birth has it been surrounded by international drama attempting to fly frozen peas into the country. I’m sitting in the office listening to mum instructing her PA to buy iced gel packs and hampers to be flown in on a small plane. The goods are to include controversially imported frozen peas alongside gourmet dishes so that Mum can nourish my sister Sally post birth cos the food in the tiny island of Alderney where my sister lives is so limited and expensive. Mum looks at me wide eyes “They do not have ONE caterer there!”. Sally’s only response is “I’m like Kim fucking Kardashian” she’s more concerned about her ballooning size paralleling that of reality star Kim and can’t wait to get the fake tan on and bleach her hair hahahahahaha. Those two really are two peas in a #poddy!

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Becoming the Mad Bad Aunt?

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I spent a very fun evening with my nieces and nephews, aged 2, 3 and 9. We started in the pub with the obligatory spillage of drinks all over the table rescuing their colouring pencils, and toys from the liquid rapids amongst islands of soggy chips and nachos.  However I enjoyed taking an extensive survey with Oli aged 9 on my favourite things which he wrote up in a table which I thought was highly organised and to my documentation tastes.

Mad Aunt:

When we got into the car to go home I turned around to face the little ones in the back and Odharnait aged 2, initiated the language of “goo gii gaa gaa” I spontaneously responded in the same language – you could see the almost electric shock then delight in her eyes, an adult was responding in her made up language, she thought it was HYSTERICAL.  Hey I don’t make up the rules of what’s funny but the more I animated and passionately expressed my point to her in “goo gii gaaa? Goo giii ga ga ga!” using my intonation to dramatic effect, she would burst into fits of hysterical laughter. “Wow!” I said to my brother David. “This is like the EASIEST laugh ever – you gotta work much harder to make adults crack a smile!” Carried away by this we all then started shouting songs and quite frankly got silly on the car journey. Whoops I thought I have gone too far, I am simply making them hyperactive! I’m the mad aunt lol. We carried on playing when we got home, Daithi cave man style hunted out a stray easter egg and smashed it on the ground and we the tribe of Mosley’s shared the hunt in the form of shards of chocolate.

Bad Aunt:

It was only when Daith aged 3 asked me to do the third colouring in with him, to which I had found the concept tenuous, Daithi would draw a wobbly circle which was a “race track” we then coloured in everything on the outside as well as everything on the inside. When he asked me to do a third I found myself looking into his 3 yr old eyes and saying “Ok ONE more but that’s it because its really BORING”

Ha!!! Wow I’m the bad aunt!

So I reckon I am the mad, bad aunt hehe!

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I’m The Best

nickiI love the conversations that happen between me and Mum!

Day dreaming I whistle the tune of Niki Minaj ‘Im The Best’
Imagine this but whistled…..
“I’m the best bitch doing it doing it (2x)
I’m the good good good good
I’m the best eh”

Mum is running a bath and calls out: “Is that you tuneless whistling?”
Me: “Its not tuneless its Niki Minaj”
Mum “Do you pride yourself on your whistling?”
Me: “Yes”

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Debutante Divorce

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I got given a book ‘The Debutante Divorce’ from my Mum for Valentines #weird but it got me thinking! We live in an age where ‘vintage’ weddings & editorial style couple engagement shoots and b/w reportage style kids pics are the new mainstream a move away from stifled life portraits. Do u think in there is a small commercial canoe I could paddle upstream & cash in on some kinda camp ‘debutante divorce’ photo shoots #jokes or am I joking? (serious face) I ain’t hating on our self involved swag I am a devilish documentation addict a slave to social media – I’m just sayin’ I wanna make some dollar and in this age of us all being celebrities on social media, where our engagements are first tweeted and fb status updated before spoken about in person – should I be fighting this or should I get my ass down to Dragons Den and say listen up you dollar dogs – surely there’s room for glamourising the darker side of our lives and I could be your gal for not quite dragging peeps out the gutter – merely glittering up your gutter lol. Maybs divorce is the only commercially viable & entrpreneurky (entrepreneurial + quirky) thing left for me to cash in on as an artist & lover of rites of passage. That or Camp Coffins! I’ll have a ponder and get back to ya!

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All or nothing at all…

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I have popped over to my brothers house. My little 3yr old nephew asks me where I live. Awks as I have moved back in with Mum and I hope Dad doesn’t hear as he’s such a tease. I whisper to my nephew “I live at Grandma Jenny’s house” Daithi finds this funny and then looks around confused at the other adults who obvs all live in their own houses “No where is your house, not Grandma Jenny’s house?”

Dad butts in….

“She doesn’t have a house! She doesn’t have a boyfriend and she only has half a job”

Wow did the 3 yr old really need all that info! But knowing my Dad and my family for that matter if you show weakness the teasing will continue. So I just look into little Daithi’s eyes and say “Its true its all true” Hey maybe kids need to know sometimes life doesn’t quite work out. Haha!

Dad drives me home, cos did i not mention I also don’t have a car and I can only half drive! Dad slots in his CASSETTE tape in his car. After some bizarre screeching noises from the cassette and Dad ejected and re shoving it in… some tinny sounding big band starts to play. Dad gets animated and starts announcing to a fictional audience that this is my kareoke song!? He announces in the car “This is Meg Mosley’s kareoke song” I wait to hear my fate…. and its this hehe! The 1930′s song ‘All or nothing at all’

Gotts love the drama of the man! Dad that is not Sinatra!

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Megs Mastermind

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So I’m at my Dads house & I leap out of my chair and do a celebratory dance in my pajamas shouting “DAVID DICKINSON” followed soon after by screaming “SUSHI” with a victorious fist pump of the air! What is the reason? The general knowledge round of Mastermind my Dad’s favourite show… we are competing – granted they were the only two answers I got right in the entire show watched my me Dad and his Wife. Hmmm I’m not quite Meg the Mastermind, mind you I have a Masters but alas it hasn’t helped me progress if my general knowledge is that of tv prime time tanning addicts and sticky fish squashed into balls of rice. Oh well at least my MA in art taught me how to express myself…. who am I kidding screw that and wrap it in a ricey fish skin. I suck.

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A Megastar, A Mum and a whole lot of Misunderstanding

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I have been creating spontaneously through events over two years almost an entertainment type ‘story’ of me as Megastar in my home town of Trowbridge which the locals call Trow Vegas. I’m fascinated by storytelling and I’m interested in the manipulation of stories especially through celebrity gossip and its ‘true life’ biographies. I’m also interested how we all now create our own online stories and gossip via all the apps available to us in Instagram, Vine, Twitter, Facebook… we star in our own show.

Amused by the family characters in my own ‘life story’ and desiring to explore my home town and test the communities willingness to join in with me I set about making ‘Viva Trow Vegas’ a film and events that has confused, amused and dominated my last two years. I’m now exhausted, people genuinely think I have lost it and I… well I just can’t say how its gonna turn out. It screens for the first time in May in The Jerwood Visual Arts Project Space this year. Here’s an evening chat which sums up the Megastar, the Mum and the Misunderstandings of my efforts!

Mum “Do you want my bath after me?”

Me “Ye” (I get into her bath and lay there as Mum puts on her towel)

Mum “My friends think you’re depressed because you keep posting a lot of pictures of yourself on facebook”

Me “Ooo that’s a bit embarrassing. They are SELFIES Mum, you know ‘hash tag’ SELFIES I’m channeling the trends for Megastar you know the vanity and how we all have become our own celebrities in social media.”

Mum “Ye but you forget they are older, they know that life is not all glamour – so when you present yourself like that all the time they think something is up.”

Me “Ye maybe the younger ones know more about selfies and twitter and what Im up to and stuff. The younger ones seem to love it. But you don’t even get it either do you – like when I do my Megastar stuff you just think its me?”

Mum “Yes, I just think why is Meg speaking in that funny way – speak normally” (Referring to me talking to camera)

Meg “But Mum I was dressed as Miss Santa introduced onto the stage as Megastar”

Mum “But I just saw that as what you do, Meg is dressing up as Miss Santa. Mum pauses for a while considering how she thinks this is normal… “Maybe we have all just dressed up too much”

Meg “Probably! Hmmm it is all a bit cringe people don’t know what I’m up to – people think I have lost it. But I have gone all out to create my Trow Vegas character and I need to keep posting about it to keep the bants going, keep me in the zone. Its all been a bit of a random time and life has been shit and I keep trotting around glam.

Mum “Well maybe it does work then. All this glamour. You have managed it with Megastar”

Meg “Hmmm maybe…its all a bit cringe and embarrassing people thinking you look a right vain nob”

Mum “Well Megastar wouldn’t think that would she.”

Meg “True Megastar would love it and see it as standard everyone should look at her.”

Mum “That’s right. Megastar wouldn’t be embarrassed at all”

We are both happy with this conclusion and I get out of the bath!

To follow what I am up to with Megastar and Trow Vegas like my fb page to stay in touch. My film will be screening this May at the Jerwood Visual Arts Project Space. See you there!

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A Mothers Love!

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Only a mother would love her BEAST of a baby and shamelessly draw attention to such a strange looking child by accesorising (me) with a jaunty straw hat covered in birds. You have gotta love Mums! (Mum) “You were unusual & beautiful I thought it made you look even more exotic” Oh Mum! She still doesn’t accept my childhood unattractive-nous and i do love her for it! Happy Mothers Day to all Mums – you do a wonderful job in shaping your children’s confidence – and remember Mums top tip if your child is ‘unusual’ looking just go all out and add a hat! Live a little! :p Big love to all mums!

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My mind is raining cats and dogs!

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Unstable thought of the day (internal monologue)

….I think I am going to end up one of those mad cat women but without the cats

….Why do mad women only have cats?

….What if you’re mad but prefer dogs

….Ah maybe if you’re mad you can’t have dogs as they are too high maintenance when most of your day is taken up with your madness

…So a mad cat woman who didn’t like cats but likes dogs, but got the dogs but couldn’t look after them would essentially be a mad woman with dead dogs!!

….Oh god I’m gonna end up a mad woman with dead dogs!?

Wow unhealthy thought process! lol #madness #deaddogs

Doggy image taken from here.

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Going Pro as a Princess & planning the Trow Vegas Music Video

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So today I wore my new Pug Viva Las Vegas jumper to get me in the zone for a walk around Trow Vegas planning my music video with Vicky aka the Mini-Star to my Mega-Star. This video will be the last thing I do as part of my film Viva Trow Vegas where my character Megastar will be unleashed unapologetically and without explanation doing her own lip sync video to a Katy Perry track around my home town of Trowbridge aka Trow Vegas. We watched pop star music videos and planned Megastar’s story and how she came about to be so vexed and wronged in the parody I plan of K-Perry’s ‘Part Of Me’ song. I’m very interested in pop princesses & their onscreen persona’s and how we aspire to their hyper reality. I’m fascinated by how emotive music is and how YouTube has opened up the possibilities of all people able to perform to a virtual audience emulating their idols.

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So… during our cuppa in local cafe Vicky and I also discussed going pro as princesses lol. I have been thinking of various ways of putting a commercial spin on my art for a while and wanna use my ability to pull off themed events with my imagination skillz – not so much sell my soul, merely time share it to the commercial devil! All this art has wrecked my bank balance and I need to make some dollar. Vicky too has quit her day job, she is a young photographer and film maker herself and we are planning greatness. So… Vicky relayed how she’d spotted a lady in America and how she hires herself out as a princess to kids events…. wow POTENCH. We got extremely excited as we have been a double act for the last year in my Trow Vegas Film… although 10 years my junior Vicky and I are totes kindred spirits meeting over twitter through Trow Vegas and our love of K-Perry. Vicky has been the Mini-Star to my Mega-Star, Santa’s Helper to my Miss Santa, Carnival Princess to my Carnival Queen… so a princess double act totally viable – let’s take this shit to Dragons Den!.  Anyway as we discussed going pro as Princesses – guess what went past NO WORD OF A LIE two princess carriages! Ha! Its soooo a sign! We ended up leaving our tea and literally running after the horse and carriages. Too funny! Turns out there was a wedding fayre in Trow Vegas – which we followed the horses to.

A great day with my Mini-Star Vicky. We wrote Katy Perry parody lyrics and I sketched out my first storyboard. We ate cheese and crisp sandwiches, talked about the current trend of pop star girls doing dramatic film monologues as introductions to their pop songs, making the presentation of the pop song a trend to becoming more like films such as Lana Del Rae, Taylor Swift, Ke$ha, Katy Perry …they’re all at it. We laughed through our cheese & crisp sandwiches! Good Times!

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